The Game Show were you lose you Die
by Humor News Cast
Summary: I finally updated!.. Ok Zero is the Host of the Game show and is bound and determine to either kill or seriosly injure his contestants. Totaly humor1 R&R please
1. round one and game one

Disclaimer: I do not own Mega Man X end of story  
  
Note: Written by Nemesis  
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The Game Show were you lose you die  
Welcome to the game show were you better chose your answers wisely or else you die. Sponsored by ' Oxymoron' Oxy for Ox and Moron for the people who actually buy the product. Well here's your host. Rank SA Maverick Hunter Zero!  
  
Zero: That's me. Let's meet our contestants! Here we have Signas.  
  
Signas: (feet tied to the floor and hands cuffed to the table) um....hi  
  
Zero. And my good friend X!  
  
X: (same situation as Signas) Zero! I'm goanna freakin kill you!  
  
Zero: (backing away a little bit) And we have LifeSaver  
  
LifeSaver: (Same Situation as the rest.) um...this wouldn't have anything to do with me   
accusing you of being a maverick  
Zero:....................................................um, um, Nooooo, What would make you say that? (backs away to his little safe card stand and microphone)  
  
Zero: Well of course all of you guys know the rules. You get an answer wrong your table   
Will be moved forward and eventually after answering a series of questions wrong  
You will be dropped I n a pool of acid, or you will have to do a dangerous stunt  
That you might get killed in the process of completing it.  
  
Zero: Ok...first question goes to Signas. (Grabs card) Ok Signas get the answer wrong   
And your table will me moved forward. Ok. How do you spell the word ' I'  
  
Signas: Um... I?  
Zero: oh man he got it right..er...I mean good job Signas you get a five points! Question   
Number two goes to X. Ok. Who wrote the piano piece " the apple is red, not  
Green"?  
  
X: um... I think the author of the fanfic wrote it.  
  
Zero: You think or you know?! ( getting really excited hoping that he get's it wrong)  
  
X: I know.  
  
Zero: darn...I mean five points goes to you too X. Good Job! ( mutters a curse word)..   
Well question number three goes to LifeSaver! Ok you get it wrong you have to do   
a dangerous stunt.... Ok what is my name?  
  
LifeSaver: Zero  
  
Zero: How did you know that?!  
  
Lifsaver: because the narrator said so when he was introducing the show  
  
Zero: Well now your table is moved forward. You cheated! ( Lifsavers table is mover forward)  
  
LifeSaver: but...  
  
Zero: Arguing with the host are we? Move it up again!  
  
Lifsaver: Something tells me that this has to do with the whole maverick thing  
  
Zero: Bringing up the past! Into the acid!  
  
LifeSaver:Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!AUUUUUUUUUGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH *SPLASH* (X and Signas staring in horror at the pool of acid, Zero is laughing)  
  
Zero: It happens. ok next question goes to Signas. Answer wrong and your table is moved   
Forward. Here's the question: What is your name?  
  
Signas: Signas  
  
Zero: You weren't supposed to know that. When they knocked you unconsciousness to   
Force to come to my game show they were supposed to knock out your memory   
Too... er...um...I mean... That is correct! 10 points to Signas!  
  
Zero: Ok X it's your turn. Answer wrong and you will have to do a stunt. Ok, Where   
Does beef come from?  
  
X: Cows  
  
Zero: I'm sorry that is incorrect. Just this morning I found out that they came from the   
Store! Well folks! Here is the stunt! He has to walk around in my homemade   
Jungle of snakes raccoons and mad squirrels! (Audience gasps) Yes I know. Scary   
Isn't it?  
  
(X is now being dragged into the home made jungle, we hear screams, and the trees are being shaken, and you can hear the sound of mad squirrels squeaking. Five minutes later X came out of there all tore up with a cobra attached to his arm by its teethe.)  
Zero: (in a surprised and confused voice) Wow...he's actually still living (finally coming   
To senses) Um… Good job X! 20 Points goes to you  
  
X: um...can I get this snake removed?  
  
Zero: No. Well anyway no another question goes to Signas, if he fails to answer it =  
Correctly then he too has to do a stunt. Well here it is - At the top of your head. What is 6,859 times 383,489?  
Signas: 2,630,351,051  
  
Zero: um...hold on let me get a calculator...(2 minutes of waiting). Sorry that is incorrect.   
The answer is 2,630,351,051. Now you have to swim with the piranha.( Signas is   
Now being dumped into a piranha tank.  
  
Signas: AAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (5 minutes later   
Signas comes out of there horribly mangles and bits of flesh are no longer apart of   
His body)  
  
Zero: Ok. It's time for a short brake. We'll be back for round two after a word from our sponsors.  
  
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AN: Hi I hope this was funny enough for ya. Hope you like it. 


	2. round two and game two

Disclaimer: I do not own Mega Man X so back off!!   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`  
  
Zero: Welcome back to the game show where you lose you die. Now let's continue the questions from where we left off. X…  
  
X: Zero. I seriously think that I need to get this snake removed. I can no longer feel my arm.  
  
Zero: Well that's your problem. Well anyway for your question. If you get this wrong you won't get a to do a stunt or move the table forward. You have to face a penalty. Well anyway for your question… What is the state of Kentucky called?  
  
X: Kentucky.  
  
Zero: I'm sorry that is incorrect. The correct answer is…Wait, Wait, Wait! You weren't supposed to get that right. What is it with you people.  
  
X: now can I get this snake removed?  
  
Zero: X, just for asking you get the penalty anyway. Bring on the cobra!  
X: ow! What did you do that for?  
  
Zero: What did I do? It was your fault for asking,  
  
X: but…  
  
Zero: X, do we need to go through a repeat back with Lifesaver?  
  
X: um… no  
  
Zero: then I suggest you shut up and answer the questions.  
  
Zero: Ok now it's Signas's turn. Um…Signas  
  
Signas: …  
  
Zero: Signas?  
  
Signas: …  
  
Zero: um… it happens. Oh well I never like him anyway.Well X looks like you get to live since Signas had dropped out of the game from serious injuries from the piranha… X?   
  
X: …( passed out from the sudden rush of poison surging throughout his body)  
  
Zero: um….um… again, it happens.( picks up telephone) Hello is this the hospital? Ok I have someone who was bitten by too cobras…….. How you ask? Ohit was such a freak accident. You see he wanted to go through a homemade jungle that had cobras in it and well. That's what happened. I told him not to do it. Oh yeah and if he tells you he was forced into it then he's lying. I think it's just the venom that got to him. Ok bye. Thank you.  
  
Zero: Ok that's it for today's show. See you next time on (audience joins in) The game show where you lose you die.   
  
Narrator: Sponsored by Oxymoron, oxy of ox and moron for the people who actually by the product.  
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Game two.  
Narrator: Welcome to the game show where you better chose your words wisely or you just might die. Sponsored by Oxymoron, oxy of ox and moron for the people who actually by the product. Here's your host Rank SA Maverick hunter Zero!  
  
Zero: again, that's me. Let's meet our contestants. Here we have my girlfriend Iris  
  
Iris: Zero how could you do this to me! If I live through this then I'll tell everybody about your bedtime problem….   
  
Zero: mental note to self. Do everything in your power to kill off girlfriend.   
And we also have Vile!  
  
Vile: I'm gonna kill you!  
  
Zero: that's nice! And we have the colonel.  
  
Colonel: Zero so help me! I'm gonna kill you nice and slowly after this.  
  
Zero: no your not….Well anyway here are the rules. If you answer a question wrong you either have to do a penalty, stunt, or your table is moved forward. Iris let's start with you.  
  
Iris: Me?  
  
Zero: yes you. Ok you answer wrongly then you have to do a stunt.  
  
Iris: But I'm your girlfriend  
  
Zero: yeah a girlfriend who tried to kill me. Well ok Iris; what is the capital of Japan?  
  
Iris: Tokyo  
  
Zero: I'm sorry that is incorrect. The correct answer was Tokyo. Ok Iris. You will now be suspended from a rope over a pool of flesh-eating worms and snakes. And since you are related to the colonel, every answer he gets wrong not only will he face the consequences, you will also be dropped down a notch. Colonel you sister's life is in your hands…. No pressure.  
  
Zero: Ok Vile. Answer wrong you have to do a stunt. Ok what is 2 + 2.  
  
Vile: um…um.. I can answer this one. It's 4  
  
Zero: How come you guys were programmed with good math skills an I wasn't. Man that's not fair. Well anyway. Colonel, you answer wrong you have to do a stunt. What is the name your name?  
  
Colonel: Colonel.  
  
Zero: I am sorry that is incorrect, just five seconds ago the show has legally change your name to Bob. Now your sister is dropped down a notch and you have fight Hairy, the deranged rabid monkey.  
( monkey comes up and attacks Bob a.k.a Colonel)  
  
Colonel: Auughh, you get away from me you monkey.  
  
Zero: Hey are you trying to kill my pet monkey.  
  
Colonel : This think is your pet ( still trying to fight monkey.)  
  
Zero: yeah I found him hanging out in my homemade jungle. ( Colonel still trying to kill monkey.  
  
Iris: And you kept that mangy thing? I'm not letting that thing in my house when you come over the next time.  
  
Zero: So you're saying that you don't like my monkey?  
  
Colonel: Well no! ( still trying to fight monkey.)  
  
Zero: All right that's it! Hairy jump up and cut the rope that is holding Iris up! ( Monkey stops fighting his battle and cuts rope  
  
Iris: Auuggghhhhhhh. ( hearing the sound of flesh being torn apart by flesh eating worms  
  
Colonel: IRIS!!  
  
Zero: Cool !!! I didn't know that Hairy even knew how to cut a rope. I guess Hairy is one of a kind.  
  
Zero: Ok Vile it's your turn. Answer wrong and you have to do a penalty. Ok, what is Hairy's favorite food ?  
  
Vile: Banana's  
  
Zero: I'm sorry that is incorrect! The correct answer was human flesh. Now for your penalty. Take off the helmet. ( Everyone gasps) Yes! Take it off! ( Zero rips it off of Vile's head) ( Zero gasps.) Mom! What are you doing here  
  
Zero's mom: What am I doing here? What are you doing here? You never call, you never write! I gave you the best years of my life, and this is how you repay me?!  
  
Zero: I'm sorry I'm sorry ( Well what did you expect him to say? The woman has got him by the hair.)  
  
Zero's mom: Sorry isn't gonna cut it this time Zero! ( Now pulling him back stage)  
  
Zero: Mommy NO!!!! ( Hears violent screams from back stage.)  
  
Narrator: I'm sorry we are going through some technical difficulties. Please stand by.   
  
Colonel: Tetnichal Difficulties?! Are you kidding me?! That woman's beating the holy crap out of her own son!  
  
Narrator: Well can you blaim her  
  
Colonel: You know you do have a point.  
  
Narrator: We'll just go to a comercial for now.  
*************************************************************************  
  
Little girl: Help my cat's stuck up in a tree!  
  
(Oxymoron guy comes in with blue cape that says oxymoron, And he brings his ox.)  
  
Oxymoron guy ( I'll just call him Ed): Don't worry little girl, just take this oxymoron pill and you won't worry about that cat any more.  
  
Little girl( I'll call her Sue): Are you sure it's safe?  
  
Ed:..............................................um............er..........Of cource it's safe  
  
Sue: Ok( pops pill in her mouth....Starts growing horns, scales, increasing in size, and her eyes start to glow red)  
( Sue then crawls up the tree)  
( See cat hair being flung every where ..AN: I'm sorry that I can't show it. It's sensored for violence)  
  
( 10 minutes later Ed and Cow see the entire town destroyed)  
  
Ed: So you think we'll be arested for this.  
Cow: ( nods head) mooooooooo  
( police car then drives up)  
  
Police man: you're being arested for selling illegal drugs to a child  
  
Ed: You call that a child! ( Points behind police man at the monster, Police man looks back)  
  
Police man: yeah you're right.... Ok you're being arrested for giving drugs to a metaly unstable monster.  
  
Ed: Ok that's more like it.  
  
Police man: Wait here while I restrain the monster.  
  
Ed: ok but don't make anysudden movements.  
  
Police man: Why?!(makes sudden movement. Monster looks up to see him. then...AN: sensored for violence. just take Ed's word for it)  
  
Ed: Ow!( police man screams can be heard)He's gonna feel that in the morning( more police man screams can be heard) That left a mark( police man screaming like a two year old girl) IS THAT POSSIBLE (police man screams can be heard) Cool! I never new your neck could bend that way!  
  
Cow: ( Shakes head in embarrasment) Moooooo  
  
Ed: Oh cool!....Wait...Oh.....Maybe we should just end the comercial now.  
  
Cow:(nods head) moooo  
  
Ed: This was oxymoron! Oxy for Ox and Moron for the people who by the product.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
AN: Hoped you like this round we will continue after Zero's mom stops beating her child. Sorry for the inconvenience 


	3. Game Two Round Two

Disclaimer: I don't own anything so back off!!!!  
Narrator: Ok we are back. Zero's mom has finally stopped beating the crap out of her son and has left for Hawaii. * Sniff* I want to go to Hawaii too!  
  
Zero: Ok we're back! Sorry about that little delay. I had to get mom off of me somehow ,so I sent her to Hawaii  
  
Narrator: Oh you send her to Hawaii but not ME?!  
  
Zero: Well I'm sorry, but you weren't the one who was beating the holy crap out of me. I mean I won't sit down for weeks.  
  
Narrator: Fine then I'll beat the crap out of you too.  
  
Zero: No you're not  
  
Narrator: Why do you say that?  
  
Zero: because you're just a voice that appears out of nowhere that introduces the show.  
  
Narrator: * sniff * : ( Darn it Zero! Why do you all ways have to get the thing I'm most sensitive about?  
  
Zero: Because I'm a mentally unstable maverick hunter out to make sure the world is full of violence and suffering. I mean why do you think I have this game show?  
  
Narrator: yeah you have a point.  
  
Zero: Ok now for the show. Signas if you answer this right you win, but if you answer wrong. I get send you on a fire cracker to the moon.!  
  
Signas: um..ok.  
  
Zero: Ok! What is the name of the author of this fanfic  
  
Signas: goddesses of nemesis  
  
Zero: Sorry that's just the name of the group but Nemesis is the true writer of this fanfic. (Drags Signas onto a giant firework then tie him up.)  
  
Signas: (right before Zero lights the match.) NO WAIT!  
  
Zero: five. four Signas: You can't do this to me!  
  
Zero:.three.two  
  
Signas: NO  
  
Zero: . one.  
  
Signas: ZERO!!!  
  
Zero: wow you just helped count down to your own death.  
  
Signas: .huh.. AUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH ( explosion one) Zero: ohhhhhhhh (explosion two) Zero: aaawwwwwwwwwww...  
  
Zero: Well that it folks. See you next time on the game show where ( audience joins in) YOU LOSE YOU DIE  
  
Narrator: This game show was sponsored by OxyMoron! Oxy for Ox, and Moron for the people who actually buy the product.a.k.a Zero!.......... I still wish I could go to Hawaii * sniff *  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
AN: Thank you guys for all the great reviews. Next time on the Game Show Were You Lose You Die I'm gonna give it a different Name. It will be called. The Game Show Were You Lose You Die 2.bum. bum. bum... It's gonna have stuff in it that's way more funny than this, so read that one too. 


	4. I've decided to keep on with the first s...

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Narrator: Welcome back to the game show where you lose you die. Now sponsored, not only by OxyMoron, but also by Humor News.  
  
Zero: Were looking for more people to be on the show, so if you want to sign up please call us at 666-I'm-a-mentaly-unstable-maniac-from-hell. Remember that 666-I'm-a-mentally-unstable-maniac-from-hell. Well anyway today on the show we have Douglas! Alia! And.. Bob.  
  
Narrator: who's Bob  
  
Zero: I have no Idea....Well anyway you know the rules so let's get started. Douglas we're starting with you.  
  
Douglas: um....how did I get here?  
  
Zero: um...You were hit over the head with a club and dragged here.  
  
Douglas: why  
  
Zero: Because you're the one who altered my armor to make it look like there is something on my chest that shouldn't be.  
  
Douglas: No I didn't  
  
Zero:...........you didn't?......oh.......well I'm gonna blame you anyway.  
  
Douglas: ok.  
  
Zero: Ok back with the show. Now Douglas answer wrong and you have to do a stunt. Ok what is the name of my monkey?  
  
Douglas: Hairy.  
  
Zero: Crap on a donkey. Well Alia.  
  
Alia: what the heck am I doing here? How the heck could you do this to me.;  
  
Zero: Because you are annoying and I hate you.  
  
Alia:.......oh.  
  
Zero: Well any way Alia, answer wrong and you get a penalty. Ok now. what is my mother's name.  
  
Alia: ummmm.....Annoying.  
  
Zero: Well yeah she is annoying but that isn't her name.  
  
Zero's Mother: What do you mean I'm annoying?!  
  
Zero: MOM?!!!! You're supposed to be in Hawaii.  
  
Zero's Mother: Well yeah but I knew that you were back on this show insulting me.  
  
Zero: How.  
  
Zero's Mother: Because I'm your mother and mothers know these things.  
  
Zero: How did you get here so fast.  
  
Zero's Mother: Instant transmission.  
  
Zero: Huh?  
  
Zero's Mother: Oh there was this very nice man there who was a fighter with pointy hair and taught me a few of his tricks. Like Instant Transmission, Kamahamaha., KaioKen, um and that's about it.  
  
Zero: You met Goku?  
  
Zero's Mother: Oh is that his name?  
  
Zero: Is he still there?  
  
Zero's mother: yeah.  
  
Zero: I'll be right back.  
  
*******************************************  
  
( Some where in Hawaii.)  
  
Zero: MR. Goku can I have your autograph?  
  
Goku: Hey aren't you that guy who does the game show where you lose you die?  
  
Zero: ummm.yeah  
  
Goku: Really? Oh well in that case I know somebody who wants your autograph  
  
Zero: A fan? Who?  
  
Goku: wait right here......( back at the hotel)  
  
Goku: Hey Vegeta!  
  
Vegeta: What is it Kakorot. I'm waiting for my favorite game show to comeback on.  
  
Goku: Well that's what I came here to talk to you about. The host is here!  
  
Vegeta: What?  
  
Goku: Yeah come with me.  
  
( where Zero is)  
  
Goku: See there he is.  
  
Vegeta: Zero! OMG. Can I have your autograph.  
  
Zero: Vegeta? Ok but I need both of yours. I love DBZ. IT has toture and violence.  
  
Vegeta: Sure!!!!  
  
( back at the game show)  
  
Zero: Sorry for the delay. Ok Mom what did you want again.....Mom?  
  
Alia: um..she left for Hawaii again.  
  
Zero:...oh......OK your penalty is that you have to stand over my homemade volcano and ever time you get an answer wrong, the volcano will be shaken to try and catch you off balance.  
  
Alia: Well what happens if I fall in.  
  
Zero: ......well.....you'll be burned alive.  
  
Alia: Well that sucks. ( said as she was being taken on top of Zero's homemade volcano.  
  
Zero: OK it your turn uh um..Bob....How did you get here.  
  
Bob: I signed up.  
  
Zero: Why would you wanna do that.  
  
Bob: Because I felt like.  
  
Zero: And I thought I was mentally unstable...Ok what was the name of the last hospital I had been taken to.  
  
Bob: um.Bob's Hospital.  
  
Zero:.......no....actually it was Madison's Hospital for the Criminally Insane. I escaped last week to host a game show so I can kill off all of my friends, and they haven't found me yet. I mean I'm right across the street from them........................................................................ .....I shouldn't have said that.  
  
Mental Hospital Person named Joe: There he is! Get him  
  
Zero: No I'm never going back!!!! ( starts running all over the place. Runs over and pushes Alia into the Volcano. Runs all over the place again. Pulls out Z-Saber and tries to kill Joe but accidentally kills Douglas. Joe Chasses him into the mental hospital truck.)  
  
Zero: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
Bob:.........um.........( walks up to pick up microphone..........Picks up microphone...)  
  
Bob: Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb. Mary had a little lamb, it's fleece was whit as snow..  
  
Audience:................................................................... ............( hears cricket).....................................................( some guy screams you suck..everybody leaves.  
  
( At the mental Hostpital)  
  
Zero is in a straight jacket watching tv. He clicked on to his show to see Bob singing "Marry Had A Little Lamb"  
  
Zero: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HE STOLE MY SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SHALL RETURN TO KILL BOB AND RECLAIM MY SHOW AND.............OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW...........................zzz..zzzzz...zzz.  
  
Nurse: ( Holding shot in hands) Come down mr. Zero. That's not going to happen anytime soon. *****************************************************  
  
AN: HI I hoped you liked it. I decided to just keep the story going. Well don't worry Bob will not control The game show where you lose you die. Zero shall return....But it takes him an entire chapter to escape so be patient. 


	5. How Zero escapes

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.  
  
AN: I would like to thank all the people who have been reviewing it so far. And I'm glad that my sick humor is pleasing people. Eternal Warrior, It would be to confusing if people signed up literally. So I better not do that. Sorry. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(At the Mental Hospital)  
  
Zero: ( In a padded room with straight jacket) Ok.here are my options. Either I chew threw this padded room with my teethe like I did last time, or I could wait till it's snack time and escape, attack the nurse, and run towards the nearest exit. Yes then I can hunt Bob down and cut him like a fish..but then I would have to go all the way to the Maverick Hunter Base and get my Z-saber..  
  
Nurse: ( looking inside the door window and seeing Zero's lips moving, goes towards an office that says ' Dr. Death' and opens the door.) um Doctor you know the patient in room 666?  
  
Dr. Death: Yes.  
  
Nurse: Well it looks like he's talking to somebody but...  
  
Dr. Death: Sounds like schizophrenia. Yes!!!! Finally a patient that requires electric therapy!!!!!!!!!!!!.I mean..that's not good, looks like the only answer is electro therapy.  
  
Nurse: Well if that's your final decision...  
  
Dr.Death: Yes that's what I want.We can do it later this night..  
  
( Later that night)  
  
Zero: ( In a corner thinking up a plan. Then door opens to reveal evil looking nurses and doctors)......um, hi.  
  
( Three hours later)  
  
Zero: ( comes in room with electricity sparks all around him. Sits back in the corner) Maybe I should just right this stuff down instead of speaking it.  
  
( the next morning)  
  
Zero: ( Now in the cafeteria looking over a really bad drawn diagram of his escape plan) Ok Now all I need to do is get that nurse to lend me a rope, belt, a pointed object like a knife of some sort, and of course more paper. I'm running out of room on this piece.  
  
(Looks around suspiciously, making sure no one is reading over his shoulder.) Zero: I will never tell anyone about his plan.Not even Mr. Pippians, the fairy who lives in my finger. No one must no my evil and very smart plan to escape and kill the evil one.  
  
( A nurse walks up)  
  
Nurse: who's the evil one?  
  
Zero: IM PLANNING TO ESCAPE AND THE PLAN INVOLVES A BELT, A ROPE, AND A POINTED OBJECT! AND THEN I'M GONNA HUNT BOB DOWN AND CUT HIM LIKE A FISH!!!!!!!!!! OH, PLEASE DON'T TAKE ME TO THE SHOCKING ROOM AGAIN!!!!!  
  
Nurse: ( with confused look on her face)...... what  
  
Zero:.................um............ Can I have a belt, rope, and a pointed object.and.um.. more paper...............................please.  
  
Nurse: What!!!? Those are totally against the hospital rules and policies!!!!!!!! But you're my favorite MMX character so what the heck.  
  
Zero:.....thanks.  
  
Nurse: No problem.  
  
( Later that night at 6:00 pm.)  
  
Zero: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA my evil plan is almost complete. Ok Nurse lady pull the two levers.  
  
Nurse: OK ( Pulls the belt and rope which triggered the pointed object knife to go flying into the wall of the padded room causing it rip and tear through the inner and out layer.)  
  
Zero: It worked..( looks at the whole and sees how small it is.) Well.um..er..At least I won't have as much junk to pick out of my teethe.  
  
Nurse: Well I have a butcher knife, maybe that would work.  
  
Zero: Nurse, I think we are going to need a lot of knives..Wait. I got it! Laser power.  
  
Nurse: Yeah laser power that would work, what a great idea, I love laser power, it's so cool......um.....what's laser power.  
  
Zero: It's the key to my success. Nurse, go the Maverick Hunter Base and then sneak in and go to my room. You will see a very bright sword thing. It's called a Z- saber.  
  
Nurse: Right! By the way, my name is Sue.  
  
Zero: Sue? Well then get going Sue.  
  
Sue: Ok.  
  
(Three more hours later. Zero escapes leaving Sue in the room, not thinking about his annual electro therapy.)  
  
Sue: Bye Zero...huh (Looks behind to see evil nurses and doctors behind her.)  
  
Nurse: Sue? I never would have guessed that you would be in electro therapy.  
  
Sue: what? No! You see what happened was..NOOOOO WAIT! ( nurses drags her out of the room.  
  
( Zero looks back to see Sue being dragged away)  
  
Zero: * sniff* ( Puts on important speech voice)I shall never forget your kindness Sue. You helped me seek revenge on the evil Bob. You were just as stupid and evil as I was. And now there is only one thing I have to say to you.. SUCKS TO BE YOU SUCKER!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ok now to get that Bob for taking over my show.  
  
( At the game show where you lose you die.)  
  
Bob: old mc Donald had a farm..  
  
Narrator: Yo Bob I would got to a commercial now. Um.Oxy Moron Guy.  
  
Oxy Moron Guy: No Way man! I'm not doing a commercial again for that guy. I want Zero back. He didn't have cute Nursery Rhyme songs! He had torture and violence and corrupted peoples minds. And that's what made me proud to sponsor his show.  
  
Oxy Moron Cow: MOOOOO ( nods head)  
  
Narrator: Well what about the Humor News People?  
  
Humor News People: NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!! ( leaves)  
  
( Zero comes crashing through the door)  
  
Zero: Don't worry guys I'm back!!!!!  
  
Narrator: Thank God.  
  
Zero: I thought you hated me.  
  
Narrator: I do but this Bob Guy is more annoying than that song that goes ' I know a song that gets on every body's nerves ect'  
  
Zero: Well don't worry.  
  
Bob: Hi Zero..Why are you looking at me funny, why are you clutching that sword, why are you walking up to me with a smile of a maniac, why are tilting my head,( gets a nervous look) why are aiming the sword at my neck, why are AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
  
Narrator: Ok I'm not cleaning that up.  
  
Zero: Ok People I'm sorry for that, but It took me a while to get out of the mental hospital.  
  
Audience: That's ok Zero. As long as you're back.  
  
Zero: I know. Well anyway. I have to go and clean this mess up, so remember, ( audience and in the middle you see vegeta saying) THIS IS THE GAME SHOW WHERE YOU LOSE YOU DIE.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
AN: HI I hoped you liked it. I told you Zero would get his show back. Well anyway just on case if you're wondering about Sue, well.um.she'll show up later on. 


	6. Zero's back on the show

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.  
  
AN: I would like to thank all the people who have been reviewing it so far. And I'm glad that my sick humor is pleasing people.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Narrator: Hello and welcome to…oh forget it.  
  
Zero: Hello and welcome back to where you lose you die…trust me…I know. Well let's meet our other contestants today. We have Sigma!  
  
Sigma: and I was in the middle of planning world domination too.  
  
Zero:…that's nice….Well anyway we have X again who is still a little zoned out from the venom of the cobra's.  
  
X: guess what Zero! My armor is blue! Say BLUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEE  
  
Zero: uh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO….And we have Wily  
  
Wily: How could you do this to me! After I built you?  
  
Zero: It's survival of the evil and I'm more evil.  
  
Wily: Well you're a jerk  
  
Zero: You're welcome  
  
Wily: What?  
  
Zero: I don't know.  
  
Wily: You're confusing me.  
  
Sigma: What do you mean you're more evil than me?  
  
Zero: Easy. I corrupt peoples minds, I kill people for fun without being sued since I force them to sign a contract that says they can't press charges.  
  
Sigma: You suck  
  
(X watching everyone fight with that childish grin on his face and decided to join in)  
  
X: My uncle Fungous is a woman. (said as if he was proud)  
  
(Zero& Sigma look at X with a confused and stare that says that the statement just made was weird.)  
  
Zero& Sigma: That's nice.  
  
Wily: you have an uncle Fungous that is really a woman too.  
  
(X nods head)  
  
Wily: Cool!!!   
  
Zero: And my mother's a wom…well actually I'm still trying to figure that out. Well anyway all of you know the rules so let's get started. Sigma we'll start with you. Ok get it wrong and you have to do a stunt.  
Sigma: Bring it on  
  
Zero: Ok…well what is the name of Mega Man's dog.  
  
Sigma: Rush  
  
Zero: That is incorrect the correct answer is Hurry. Ok you now have to dance with my deranged rabid monkey Hairy.  
  
Sigma: I'm not dancing with a monkey.  
  
Zero: Oh! So now you too, are saying you don't like my monkey. What is with you people *Sniff * you're hurting his feelings. HAIRY DANCE LIKE YOU'VE NEVER DANCED BEFORE!  
  
(Out of now where the monkey comes out and takes Sigma to the dance floor. It was cool they had a disco ball and everything. Hairy started break dancing and Sigma did ballet. After an hour the insanity stopped)  
  
Zero: Ok now X! you get this answer wrong and you have to go to and unknown planet till the end of the show without food, water, or any protection of any kind.  
  
X: OK  
  
Zero: Ok. What is the name of the main character in Mega Man Battle Network?  
  
X: CHIPMUNKS  
  
Zero:………………………………….no………………………SEND HIM TO THE PLANET!!!!  
  
( People shove him into a rocket ship and send him on some unknown planet. X walks out of the ship when it lands)  
  
X: Hey cool there's air on this planet! And no gravity. WWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *swoosh *  
  
Zero: (watching X through satellite television back at the game show place) X stop that you're in public  
  
X: But I don't Wanna  
  
Zero: Now!!  
  
X: fine (while Zero isn't watching the tv) WEEEEEEEEEE *swoosh *  
  
Zero: (Zero looked back in time to see what X did) Crap!! He's enjoying it. Get him off of the planet and send him back to hospital. AND GET ME A NEW CONTESTANT!!!  
  
(one hour later)  
  
Zero: Thanks for waiting and our new contestant is Enzan!!!  
  
Enzan: What am I doing here?  
  
Zero: Well what do you think?  
  
Enzan…to be horribly mangled and most likely killed.  
  
Zero: Well you're pretty close.  
  
*********************************************************************  
AN: Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I hope this was funny enough for ya.. Oh yeah and if I accidentally did something wrong to the grammar I'm sorry. 


	7. A comercial and round two

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Narrator: Coming out in June, Friday the 13th 2003,  
  
Zero: You're supposed to be dead.  
  
Iris: I'm not dead I'm undead  
  
Zero: what does that mean  
  
Iris:.........I'm a vampire and I'm going to bite you  
  
Zero: ..oh.OKAY! Just like the time when we got drunk at the party and trapped in the closet.And then you started too.  
  
Iris: Pervert.  
  
Narrator: You better know how to make a cross with you're fingers.  
  
X: Zero no!! Stay back ( makes a crooked cross with fingers)  
  
Zero *sigh * Ok X, you're cross is crooked. Just mover you're left index finger a little more to the right.a little more.ok you got it...now let me do my part.......* Zero does vampire hiss thing and tries to hid himself with his cape *  
  
Narrator: Make sure you know the difference between a ware wolf and a puppy  
  
Alia: Oh look!!! SIGMA TURNED INTO A PUPPY HOW CUTE!!! *runs up to hug sigma but gets bitten *  
  
Sigma: BWAHAHAHAHHA  
  
Alia *smack * bad puppy.hey wait.. (Alia starts to turn into a werewolf)  
  
Narrator: If you're an inventor and scientist know your limitations of creating things out of dead tissue.  
  
Wily: It's ALIVE!!! IT'S ALIVE..  
  
Frankenstein: DIIEE  
  
Wily: huh?.AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
  
Narrator: Make sure you're not at the wrong place at the wrong time.  
  
Signas: Hey what's that black hole thing..AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH(gets sucked up into a vortex of death)  
  
Douglas: Hey Signas where did you go..uh * BAM* (Douglas get ran over by a truck)  
  
Narrator: Make sure you have the right kind of water when killing a zombie  
  
Enzan: Take this!!!! (Squirts what he thought was water all over Zombies but nothing happens.) Enzan: ..oops.I thought I had holy water..that was Gatorade..well this isn't good..AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH (runs)  
  
Narrator: know your animals.  
  
Zero: I'm telling you X, that's a turtle  
  
X: No it's not, it's a squirrel.  
  
Zero: it doesn't even have fur  
  
X: well then what do you call that?  
  
Zero: .skin  
  
X: well it's squeaking like a squirrel  
  
Zero: you know what? I don't think it's a turtle anymore. Turtles don't make noises.  
  
X: told you  
  
Zero: You're right it is a squirrel  
  
Animal: .rib it...rib it  
  
X: No wait I changed my mind. It's an apple  
  
Zero: Ok now I think you're going a little to far. Maybe it's an orange  
  
Animal: rib it.rib it  
  
(Alia soon walks in carrying her usual paper)  
  
Alia: Oh look at the cute frog. (Walks off with it.)  
  
Zero: I told you it was a frog. X: you said it was an orange.  
  
Zero: yeah, an orange frog.  
  
X: but it was green.  
  
Narrator: But most of all. Watch out for the chipmunks  
  
Vampire Zero: Oh so now you think you can defeat me. I've got the cool fangs. All you've got is the buckteeth.  
  
Kun fu rabid chipmunk: SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK!!!!!! (charges at Vampire Zero)  
  
Vampire Zero: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHh(runs but Hairy comes to the rescue)  
  
Hairy: (fights chipmunk and soon becomes best friends with it)  
  
Vampire: And I thought you were my friend.  
  
Narrator: So beware. Your IQ might drop 10 points just for reading it. ****************************************************************  
  
Zero: Ok welcome back. We now have our new contestant and we will start off with asking him a question that if he gets wrong he will have his chair moved up. Only on today's show, instead of acid, we have man-eating leaches.  
  
Enzan: This is unfair!!! This is cruel and unusual torture towards your contestants.  
  
Zero: I know, isn't it fun? Well anyway. What is the name of the game show.  
  
Enzan: The game show where you lose you die.  
  
Zero:....I hate you.  
  
Enzan: I get that a lot.  
  
Zero: Ok Sigma.Sigma? (sees his chains broken)  
  
*a mile away from the game show *  
  
Sigma: I'M FREE!!!  
  
* back at the game show *  
  
Zero: ..Ok Wily. IT looks like it's you're turn. Get it wrong and I'll kill you for no reason  
  
Wily: why?  
  
Zero: Because I feel like it  
  
Wily:.oh.  
  
Zero: Ok who was my creator?  
  
Wily:.me  
  
Zero:.let me rephrase that..According to the video game.  
  
Wily: me  
  
Zero: How do you know they only hint towards that. They never actually said that you were my creator..I WIN  
  
Wily: yeah but anyone with half of a brain could figure that out.  
  
Zero:.Are you calling me stupid.  
  
Wily: yes  
  
Zero: Well then I'm going to kill you.  
  
Wily:...  
  
Zero: DIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *slice *..I'm not cleaning that up.  
  
Enzan: You just killed your creator!!!! Why???  
  
Zero: Because I felt like it.  
  
Enzan: Well then does this mean I win?  
  
Zero:.No Netto does.  
  
Enzan: WHAT! NO WAY  
  
Zero: yep  
  
Enzan: but he isn't even on the show.  
  
Zero: Yeah but I knew that it would tick you off so he wins $5,000.00  
  
Enzan: You're going to give away $5,000.00  
  
Zero: most likely not. Well that's the end of the show so, see you next time on the (audience joins it.again) GAME SHOW WHERE YOU LOSE YOU DIE  
  
Enzan: This sucks!!  
  
Zero: at ease soldier at ease.  
  
*****************************************************************  
  
AN: I hoped you like this chapter and I hope that you look forward to my new fanfic that's coming our on June 13, 2003. 


	8. Another episode!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything  
  
**********************************************************************  
  
Narrator: Hello and welcome back to the GAME SHOW WHERE YOU LOSE YOU DIE. Sponsored by Oxy Moron. Oxy for Ox and Moron for the people who by the product. And by Humor News! The News station that drove Zero into insanity! And now by a box of rocks! The only thing that you can carry out a good intelligent conversation with that actually sponsors us! Here's your host.... ZERO!!!  
  
Zero: Hello and welcome back to the Game Show Where You Lose You Die!. Here are our contestants Sigma! I found him at a 'Some one stop the insanity' program. Well and we have Blues and we have Forte.  
  
Forte: I'm your own brother damn it!!! I'm not even this low!  
  
Zero: Yes but you did not have the Humor News cast driving you insane EVERY STEP OF YOUR MISERABLE LIFE!!!   
  
Forte:...sorry....  
  
Zero: all is forgiven. Well we all know the rules so let's get this started. Blues if you get this wrong then you have to do a stunt.  
  
Blues: No way man! I'm out of here.  
  
Zero:...Blues...do you want to end up like your little brother?  
  
Blues: *pauses for a second and thinks*....ok I'll stay.  
  
Zero: Good call....anyway....What is the name of the game that stars ME!! This game that stars ME and not X! or MEGA MAN! is about ME rescuing a scientist Ciel and her reploids from the evil X!  
  
Blues:...Mega Man Zero.  
  
Zero:.....The correct answer to the name of the game that stars ME and not X! is Mega Man ZERO...not X!  
  
Blues: ....do you have problem with my brother or something?  
  
Zeri: *twitching* NOOO what makes you say that! It's not like I never get the credit for defeating Sigma in the sequels when I defeat him when people pick my character. And it's not like everybody rubs it in with all the things named after him...Like chemical 'X'! or 'X!' marks the spot or 'X!'-men or mutant 'X'.  
  
Blues: Well that's good because....  
  
Zero: *interrupts and starts to cry * I mean why cant it be Zero marks the spot or Zero-Men or Chemical Zero or well you know! *Sniff* It's always gotta be avout HIM!  
  
Sigma: *walks over to Zero and pats him on the back* It's ok man. I go through this phase every time I get defeated by him.  
  
Zero: *sniff* really? *sniff*  
  
Sigma: Yep...here, take this tissue *Hands Zero a tissue*  
  
Zero: *blows nose and hands it back to Sigma*  
  
Simga:....keep it.  
  
Zero: Thanks man!  
  
Sigma: No prob *goes back behind his little table thing*  
  
Zero: Well anyway....Forte it is your turn!  
  
Forte: *sarcastically* oh joy.  
  
Zero: I know isn't it?! Well anyway....Are you a woman?  
  
Forte: Damn! Give me a moment and let me think about that for second. *thinking*  
  
Zero: Times almost up.  
  
Forte: um....um....Yes!  
  
Zero:...oh God....No Forte I am really sorry to inform you that you are not a woman but yet you are a man.  
  
Forte: What?! I knew it! *Sniff* Damn it. It's just that when all the pressure is on you...  
  
Zero: uh huh.....well anyway you're table is now moved up. *moves up the chair* ok Sigma my knew best friend what is the name of the show that involves chemical....*whimpers* X.  
  
Sigma:....uh....  
  
Zero: I'm sorry but the name of the show is called the....well I'm not sure what the name of the show is called but it isn't called 'UH' Well now you have to jump into a pit of molted hot lava. I'm sorry.  
  
Sigma: That's ok buddy.  
  
Zero: I'm going to miss you man!.......  
  
Sigma: He he he I lived!  
  
Zero:...damn ....Well on to a mini home entertainment show.  
  
****************************************************************************  
  
Narrator: Here are the CHIBI CHIBIS  
  
Chibi X: ……….*stares blankly into the camera from his seat on the desk*  
  
Chibi Zero: : ……….*stares blankly into the camera from his seat on the desk*  
  
Nemesis: * Comes out * Oh sorry, Cherry said that cameras will suck out there sole. There to scared to move...see?! *flicks chibi Zero off the desk * Well bye   
  
Narrator: That was the Chibi Chibis!!  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Zero: hello and we're back and Forte is dead.  
  
Blues: How did that happen?  
  
Zero: *thinks back*  
  
*^*^*^ Flash back*^*^*^  
  
Zero: *Looks around to see that everyone is paying attention to the stupid chibi's and walks up to Forte and.... Push....Splash.... Sizzle sizzle sizzle.... boil boil boil. Scream scream scream*  
  
^*^^*^*^ End flash back ^*^*^*^  
  
Zero: Well you see he thought that his life sucked so he jumped into a pile of acid.  
  
Blues: What? That's so sad!  
  
Zero: I know. He was my brother and a great guy.  
  
Sigma:....Even I wouldn't do that to my self. His life must have sucked.  
  
Narrator: *murmurs* he pushed him in.  
  
Zero: Shut up Narrator! Well anyway Blues it is your turn. Get the question wrong I will make you eat Nemesis' cooking.  
  
Blues: NO NOT THAT!!!  
  
*at humor news*  
  
Nemesis: Hey buddy my cooking isn't that bad!  
  
*back at the game show*  
  
Zero: Yes that...How high can I count up to?  
  
Blues: Zero.  
  
Zero: Yes?  
  
Blues: No I was saying that's how high you can count up to  
  
Zero: .....yeah you're right.  
  
Narrator: Kind of full of himself aint he?  
  
Blues: Tell me about it.  
  
Zero: Well anyway.... Sigma what is your real name?  
  
Sigma: ...Sigma  
  
Zero: I'm sorry that is incorrect! For the show we have legally changed your name to Betty! Into the acid!   
  
Sigma: WHAT!!!! BUT WE BONDED!!  
  
Zero: SORRY SUCKER!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA *splash* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
  
Blues: ....does this mean that I win?  
  
Zero:....no I'm going to kill you off anyway! Say the word on your card!  
  
Blues: *like an idiot he says what's on the card* ...it happens...*  
  
Nemesis: *comes out of nowhere* OK BUDDY! FIRST YOU SAY MY COOKING SUCKS, AND NOW YOU TAKE MY LINE!!!!! THAT'S IT!!! *Takes out laser* DIE!!!!!!! *Zaps blues!*  
  
Zero: i do love to see people in pain!! Well see you next time on *audience joins in* THE GAME SHOW WHERE YOU LOSE YOU DIE!!  
  
Narrator: That was the GAME SHOW WHERE YOU LOSE YOU DIE! Sponsored by Oxy Moron. Oxy for Ox and Moron for the people who by the product. And by Humor News! The News station that drove Zero into insanity! And now by a box of rocks! The only thing that you can carry out a good intelegent conversation with that actually sponsors us!   
  
*******************************************************************************************  
  
AN: yes I know I havn't updated in ages and when I mean ages I mean ages! Please REVIEW!!!! Oh yeah and I know that this was really stupid! 


End file.
